thepunshow | DEERLYBELOVED

Well that takes talent.

[This may come fairly late at night, and Rei may have had a couple of glasses of wine. She's bored, mostly, though.]

[ yang sure did panic about deerlybeloved being installed without her knowledge for 10 minutes.

then she panicked about someone responding for 15 minutes.

and then panicked about a pretty girl being the one to respond for another 5 minutes.

she's doing doing great. ]

Ha, well, you gotta learn something to pass the time when you grow up in the middle of nowhere. It's not too hard to figure out once you know the basics.

[Honestly she's not even expecting a response. She was just bookmarking people for later that seemed interesting.

Of course, she's still getting the hang of the device again, and all.]

Oh I'm aware it's easy once you get the hang of it. I can do that too.
I just learned it to fidget without moving during long meditation sessions and it took me forever.

[ swiping right is definitely a way to bookmark someone. ]

Yeah, I get it. My dad had me pick up meditation and it's hard to "find your center" when all you can focus on is doing literally anything else.

I never had a problem finding my center exactly.

But after two hours, even my mind starts to wander.

Yeah, anyone would lose focus after two hours. Are your sessions part of some kind of training? Or do you meditate that long to get some uninterrupted cherry stem tying time in?

Ascetic training, yes. I practice spiritual magic.

I don't really have much use for the actual stem-tying.

Killing time sounds like a pretty important use of stem-tying to me.

But wait, you can do magic? Like, actual real magic?

I can, in fact.

[Rei switches over to video, and...yeah. She's just sitting on her couch in a sweatshirt and pajama bottoms. Hi, she looks like she was just chilling.]

I'll show you.

[She holds up her hands and wills flame into them. Two fireballs begin hovering just above her palms, and when she flicks her fingers they elongate into lines, twining together into the shape of a bow and arrow, and then a cat, and finally a pair of cherries.]

Simple stuff. Though, I can do other things that are a lot less showy.

[ yang turns on her camera in kind, wearing a simple orange tank top and black shorts and sitting cross-legged in bed. she's wide-eyed at the display, at first, then breaks into a wide smile. have a quiet round of genuine applause, rei. ]

That's supposed to be simple? Let me know when you do something hard. I've gotta see it.

[ she leans forward, elbows on her knees. ] What's the less showy stuff?

I'm psychic. I can sense the near future, and I can feel other people's emotions.

[She can't resist. She leans forward.]

...My message embarrassed you, didn't it?

[ magic, she'll believe in, but psychics are another thing entirely. come on. there's no way that's real.

yang tilts her head to the side, smile turning a touch wry. ] A little bit, but won't most people be embarrassed if someone responded to them on a dating app?

I don't know, you seem fairly confident in that picture of yourself.

[Believe what you will, Yang. Rei is an oracle.]

Also, to be totally honest I only realized it was a dating program halfway through this conversation.

[ she'll believe it when she sees it.

one thing rei will easily see is how yang's cheeks turn a violent shade of red as she reaches a hand to the back of her head in embarrassment. ] Okay, maybe in the picture, but trust me, I've never taken a picture like that at home or in Deerington. It's a little bit over the top.

And I didn't even know this got installed on my fluid until I got your notification. Seems like we're both really good at this.

It is. I mostly meant to bookmark your picture because it was funny and then it told me I had to send a message.

[It's totally fucking funny.]

[ it's hysterical. ]

You mean it's funny how attractive I am, right? [ she asks in the goofiest tone of voice imaginable. she even throws in some overdramatic preening for good measure. please do not take yang seriously. ]

Sure, sure. I do like blondes.

[...This is said in perhaps the driest tone of voice possible.

Yang's cute, but Rei's not some fawning dork.]

[ the dry tone only makes yang's grin all the wider. she's been friends/teammates with masters of sarcasm weiss schnee and blake belladonna for years. this is like a cakewalk. ]

Then that means I've still got a chance! [ she links both hands behind her head and leans back against the headboard, laughing as she gets comfortable. ] My name's Yang Xiao Long, by the way! What's yours?

I suppose. Depends on what you're wanting a chance at. I'm all too willing to see some auditions.

[Committed relationship? Probably not. The rest, well, anything else is possible depending on the sales pitch, but realistically she's only looking for friends without an amazing one.]

My name is Rei Hino. It's a pleasure, Yang.

[ yang is in a very committed relationship with her catgirl not-quite girlfriend so no worries there. however, she's all in for that open "that cool friend across the street" position. ]

Nice to meet you, Rei. But hold on, we're already in the audition? Alright, I got this. Quick, what's my motivation and my opening line?

Hmm.

[Rei laughs softly, leaning back and making a mock show of thinking.]

Your motivation is to impress the director, so pretend that's me, and your opening line is 'Hey there, have you got any soy sauce? I've run out.'

come here often?

[ ... she thought it was funny ]

[ fwiw yang thinks it's hilarious and would be howling with laughter if she weren't vaguely panicking. c'mon, be cool. what would coco adel do. ]

Nah. Nobody's ever caught my eye to make me stick around.

Until...now?

I didn't make this, by the way.

[ nailed it ]

i didn't make mine, either.

should i ask where that picture of you came from?

Maybe it's part of the Deerington welcome kit. You know, all-expenses paid cruise on a haunted boat, free place, dating app. The essentials.

But your guess is as good as mine. I've never taken a picture like this before. Ever. Wherever it came from, it's nice they got my good side. And my freckles. Yours has to be less embarrassing, right?

maybe. my picture's normal, but the bio's... not great

[ and a link to her profile. ]

"broody"? "overdramatic"? Who writes this stuff? At least they got a few things right. And it picked a really pretty picture of you.

[ wait. is that rude? or too forward? oh no. yang has ruined everything. ]

Not that you don't always look pretty! Better than pretty, even! Just...you know! This picture's nice!

yang. relax

[ some deep breaths later: ]

Sorry about that. Guess I got in too deep there. Thanks for pulling me out, Blake.

it's fine.

you know you don't have to worry about impressing me or anything, right?

I know I don't. Don't worry, my "impressing people just because I can" days are long behind me.

oh? what, did i make an honest woman of you already, yang?

We aren't married yet, Blake, so no, you haven't. Nice try, though.

yang.

i'm going to throw my scroll out the window now

You say that, but I know you laughed. You're not throwing anything.

caught me.

[ the dots bounce, for a moment. fuck it, they've come this far. ]

do you want to go do something this weekend? just us.

[ oh. the dots on yang's end bounce for a solid 20 seconds until: ]

I'd love to. We can even make a day out of it, if you want. Anything you want to do in particular?

you've always been better at planning things like this.

and i don't care where we go or what we're doing. i trust you

Although I did plan the best party Beacon ever saw and our highly successful partner outings, including a fantastic dinner party, that doesn't mean it's all up to me. We are going on a date so that includes both of us.

[ might as well call this what it is. an actual date with all the connotations that implies. terrifying, yes, but even more that?

exciting. ]

If there's anywhere you wanna go, we'll go. Or if you think of something while we're out, we can do that, too. Everything's on the table. Just let me know.

i'll keep that in mind.

i guess we'll find out if you still know how to show a girl a good time, huh?

You make it sound like you think I've lost my touch. Well, challenge accepted, Belladonna. I'm gonna make this a weekend to remember!

Impressive! I admire your dexterity and fine motor skills, Yang Xiao Long.

I'm pretty sure you're the first person who's ever complimented me on either of those. Thanks a ton, Penny.

I could make a bad joke about you being horny.
Would that inspire the hate you crave so much?

[...someone HAD been swiping right on Darth Maul's DB just to tease him. This was going to go swell!]

DEERLYBELOVED

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

Text: UN - IceCream (Misfire)