thepunshow | deerington IC inbox

[ yang doesn't respond for a moment, the only noise the sound of the truck sputtering in protest of the higher than usual speeds it's being pushed to. 'what you see in me' reminds her too much of argus. of him.

what does she even see in you?!

he'd lashed out with those words when his back was against the wall. one final tool in his arsenal, a blunt instrument meant to cripple blake's growth at the knees. she's come so far and yet he haunts her still.

but he's not here anymore. he doesn't get to hurt people ever again. ]

I see that you're compassionate, [ she answers slowly. ] That you're always thinking about how to make the world a better place for everyone, and that you'll fight for that no matter what happens. You're kind and forgiving and smart. And....

There's just...Blake, that doesn't even scratch the surface. I see a lot of things when I look at you. [ lazy mornings in bed in the winter, gardening in the spring, random road trips in the summer, visiting parents in the fall, a present, a future, a beyond. ] You're my favorite person.

[ the same question she'd once asked her father rests on the tip of her tongue. only the things they've still left unsaid hold her back.

how can you still love me after what i did?

blake's eyes clench shut, a sob escaping her throat. ]

You're incredible, Yang. If I hadn't met you, I... I can't imagine how my life would have turned out. [ the others too, yes, but... especially her. despite everything that's happened along the way, blake knows that they've both changed for the better, knowing each other. she had seen herself as poison once, befitting her name, but not anymore.

yang can't "fix" her, she knows that. they both know that, after some early efforts yang made went terribly wrong. yang can't pull her from the shadows, but she can be there while she does it for herself. she can catch her when she falls, and blake can do the same for her. maybe that's enough. ]

I think... I think I'll be okay talking about it. Since it's you.

[ yang doesn't feel incredible or like her very existence is life-changing. hell, she doesn't even feel as if she has the "biggest, most open heart of anyone" like emerald claims she does. right now, she can only feel helpless and far away even as she pulls into the driveway, her stomach twisting in distress when blake sobs.

she may not be able to fix her partner's broken wings, but she'll do anything to help her soar again.

yang turns off the truck, yanking the keys out of the ignition and gathering groceries into her arms. ] Whenever you want to talk, I'll listen. Promise.

[ she wastes no time in jumping out, balancing the bags in one arm while unlocking the front door with the other. as soon as her foot crosses the threshold, she says, ] Just walked in the door. I'm going to put away the cold stuff and then come up. You okay with me bringing some water?

[ blake's mostly quiet for a long moment, focusing on the sound of her partner's voice. the distant sound of the front door and yang's footsteps are a comfort. that promise is nothing unexpected from her, but it's still...

gods, yang is everything. she only finds her words for that question, nodding once even though it can't be seen. ]

Please.

You got it. [ it almost sounds like "i love you." ] See you in a bit.

[ yang hangs up then, but steps into the house slowly and deliberately so that blake can track her movements with ease: from the entryway where she shoves the door closed with her shoulder, through the living room where she almost steps on the remote, into the kitchen to putter around while putting away milk and lunchmeat and fixing a glass of ice water, up the stairs and past zwei who's been keeping a close eye on blake at a respectful distance, and then-- ]

Hi. [ yang enters the room and holds out the water for her to take. ] For you.

[ blake is sitting up on the bed by the time yang steps in, and she murmurs thanks, taking the glass and sipping at it. with her free hand, she rubs at her eyes with the heel of her palm. the water does seem to help—at least, it refreshes her a bit. ]

Hi. [ she pats the space on the bed next to her. get over here. ]

[ yang needs no further prompting. she peels off her jacket and boots, haphazardly throwing them in the direction of the closet, and settles next to blake on the bed. if hearing how upset blake was over the phone twisted her stomach, seeing how badly the conversation with emerald has shaken her is like getting punched square in the chest. gods, she hates this. ]

Asking how you're feeling would be kind of dumb, [ she wraps an arm around her waist to pull blake close and rubs lazy, comforting circles on her thigh with her thumb, ] so I won't. But I'm here as long as you want me to be.

[ it takes a fraction of a second for the contact to feel safe. blake doesn't recoil from yang, but she needs a moment before she begins to relax into her touch, before sense memory is overruled by what her mind and heart are telling her.

she nestles against her partner's shoulder and chest, slipping her arm around yang's waist in return. she holds back the urge to say 'always' to that statement, instead drawing a deep breath and nodding against her. she's silent for at least two minutes, simply listening to the sound of yang's breath and heartbeat. ]

... I was twelve, [ she finally says that, voice not quite a whisper but quiet, solely for the two of them, ] when my parents left the Fang. When... when he got me to leave home.

[ yang almost pulls away when blake freezes in her arms. stupid, stupid, stupid, she should have asked if touch was okay, should have let blake set the pace, should have met her halfway. an apology is half-formed on her tongue when her partner nestles into her and yang practically melts in relief, dropping a kiss on the crown of blake's head. she's more than content to sit in silence if that'll help.

then blake speaks and her blood runs cold.

she remembers the image of adam, towering above her with a hand on his sword, warning her of hungry monsters waiting in the dark for unsuspecting girls. a monster, himself, wrapped in the ill-fitting shroud of a gentleman. he'd looked older than her in blake's memory, but to learn she was only twelve or, gods forbid, even younger when he'd singled her out....

for a brief, violent moment, she wishes she'd broken every single one of his teeth in argus. she takes a deep breath, holds it for two seconds, exhales slowly through her nose. stay calm, xiao long. ]

...were you with his branch of the White Fang until you came to Beacon? [ there's a subtle shake to her voice, a quickening of her heartbeat that she knows blake will hear. regardless, yang matches blake's quiet tone. it's just the two of them here and everything she says won't leave this room. ]

[ she draws a deep breath, the scent of yang's soap and shampoo and finally nods. the fact this seems to anger yang is... reassuring. validating. blake squeezes her briefly, staying wrapped up with her partner.

she hates to unload all of this on her. but... without talking about it, healing can only go so far, right? and if anyone can understand, if anyone would listen without judgement... it's yang. ]

I was there for five years. I left during... that SDC train attack in the Forever Fall, that spring. Before the entrance exams. [ on the very minor chance yang remembers a news item from that far back.

and, since she can almost feel the unspoken question, she adds, with a touch of hesitation: ]

... He was six years older.

[ the train attack is something that sticks out in her memory, surprisingly enough. conversations about it were inescapable at signal academy from the moment the news broke until the exams themselves. during every study break, a classmate would lean into yang's space and remark, "an attack on an SDC train is crazy, right? you think they'll put off entrance exams? you think they'll catch the white fang?"

yang's answers were always "yes," "no, so we should get back to studying," and "i dunno, and now we've really got to get back to studying," in order. those were huntress-level questions and she was no huntress. not yet, anyway.

it makes sense that blake would run to beacon academy since it was so close to forever fall. it makes even more sense that she hadn't shared anything about her past on arrival. five years spent far away from home with someone like him, someone six years older who never should have approached her in the first place--

she works on smothering the ember of anger that burns in her chest with another breathing exercise, but she knows her irises have turned deep crimson on instinct. ]

Bastard, [ yang finally spits. ] That fucking bastard. [ another deep breath. ] I'm...shit, Blake. Everything he did to you wasn't...just taking you away from home. That wasn't fair to you.

[ her ears stay down, and she briefly tightens her hold on yang. blake can hear how angry she is, feel it in the way she tenses, in the change to her breathing and heartbeat. it doesn't make her afraid, though. she knows that her partner's anger is reserved for the man they killed, that none of it is directed at her.

she knows that this anger is a product of love. ]

Yeah. I know that now. [ she closes her eyes, taking a deep breath. there's more she could say, but she doesn't know where to begin, or if she even wants to. ]

[ yang won't press for every painful moment in those five years. it's not her place to press for details about what blake has been through. but the almost imperceptible scripts and triggers of her partner are more than enough to fill in the broad strokes.

(how she freezes at loud noises, especially raised voices. how her ears tilt back in distress when hearing the word "darling", even in passing. how she braces herself for blows that never come and seems confused at the overabundance of love she receives rather than pain.) ]

'm glad. [ a beat as yang draws her closer and places a kiss to her temple. ] You mentioned that he changed when you were both in the White Fang. That he starting hurting people and saying it was just "accidents".

[ the memory of blake's barely hidden fear when asking yang to swear she hadn't hurt mercury on purpose serves as reminder to never be the cause of that look ever again. ]

Was that the reason why you left?

[ blake lets out a soft hum at the kiss, leaning more into their embrace. at the question, though... she seems to consider it, before nodding. ]

... I thought he changed, [ she says that, slowly. carefully. ] but I... I was wrong about a lot of things, back then. Even after I left, I didn't see how bad it... [ she stops, taking a breath. ] He was never who I thought he was, was he?

[ it's... mostly rhetorical. less actually asking yang—because she knows less than blake does, even if she knows enough—and more seeking validation. ]

[ she huffs a quiet noise of assent. while she doesn't know much about him (and never wants to, for that matter), the brief glimpses she'd seen don't line up with the mentor and champion of justice blake once described back at beacon.

blake knows that now, as well. if she needs the validation that what she's seen and felt was real, yang will give it freely. ]

He tried convincing you otherwise, but.... No. He never was, [ she sighs. ] He just did a good job of hiding who he was from everyone.

[ blake's quiet for a long moment, simply breathing steadily as she lets yang hold her. ]

... You know... sometimes, I was scared it might be happening again. Back at Beacon. It wasn't fair to you, but... [ after learning how her semblance works, after seeing the bursts of anger and flame, after what happened with mercury, after how yang was every bit the kind of person she had once believed him to be— ]

You proved me wrong. Every time.

Edited 2021-01-03 18:30 (UTC)

[ yang had been nothing but flashing warning signs, brash and prideful and impulsive. despite all her reservations, blake chose her in the emerald forest anyway. months later, in the face of her demon, she'd saved her life by running away. and when facing him again, many months after that, she'd saved yang by standing her ground and choosing to stay.

she swallows past the sudden lump in her throat and sighs, slow and shaky, as she gathers her thoughts. ]

Well, I didn't give you the best first impression. Or second or third, if we're honest, [ yang says wryly. ] So it's understandable you were hesitant about trust back then.

But...thank you. For giving me chances to show you I'm not him.

You're not. [ she agrees quietly, her breathing growing slow and steady. ] You're you. And that was always enough.

Edited 2021-01-06 01:59 (UTC)

[ ah. yang knows what that tone of voice means. a small smile spreads across her face as she gently takes the glass of water from blake's slackening grip, leaning over just far enough to place it on the nightstand without disturbing her. ]

Same goes for you. You're enough. [ yang reaches behind herself to stack their pillows to cushion the headboard and leans against them, holding her close. ] Now get some sleep, Belladonna. [ a lingering, loving kiss to her hairline. ]

I've gotcha.

Not the boss of me, Xiao Long. [ it's a fond and half-muffled drawl, lips curling into a slight smile against her. obviously, she has no intention of moving away from yang. ]

Oh, Brothers, [ she says with a good-natured eyeroll. ] Alright then, let me try that again. [ yang clears her throat and continues in a faux serious manner, ] Miss Blake Belladonna, valued member of team RWBY and my beloved partner, I humbly request that you rest.

...forsooth. Or something.

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